One of the fundamental questions I ask as a coach is ‘What do you want?’ It’s a question I’ve been spending much of the past few years asking myself too. What do I want? And is one of the reasons why this blog is a few days later coming out. Apologies – more to follow, that story is not for now.
It seems a fairly innocuous question on the surface doesn’t it? What do you want? A cup of tea would be nice. A glass of wine perhaps? A better paid job? A loving relationship? Respect from my partner? A fitter, more toned body? Appreciation for all that I do from my children?……………..
If you get below the surface it is one of the hardest questions to answer. Believe me. The answer I most frequently hear from clients is ………..’I don’t know, in fact I have no idea’. Excuse me? You have no idea what you want IN YOUR LIFE? So what are you doing? Oh yes, you’re like the majority of people (me included) on that treadmill or out at sea, rudderless. Did you know most people spend more time planning their 2 week summer holiday than they do planning their life? As the quote says ‘Life happens whilst we’re busy making other plans’……..or are they song lyrics?
Most people know what they don’t want………….this list positively rolls of their tongues.
- I don’t want to smoke anymore
- I’m fed up of being overweight
- I don’t want to keep attracting losers in my life
- I don’t want this crappy job anymore
- I don’t want the life I’ve got
- I hate that I’m taken for granted
- I hate that I’m the one to take the bins out every week
- I don’t want to be in debt anymore
- I don’t want to keep fighting with my husband/wife
- I don’t want this headache anymore
So take a moment and think about this question. What do you really want? Really want (now those really are song lyrics!!!). I recommend you watch the video I’d added to this blog. Take the 20 minutes, headphones on and no distractions. If you are serious about making this second half of your life one to truly look forward to it’s time to start asking some meaningful questions of yourself.
If you need a little extra help in answering that questions here’s an extra one that I’ll throw in for FREE!! ………………..What gives you a buzz? (addictive substances do not count!). If you can answer that one easily, you’re on your way. I notice it immediately in a client, the second they start talking about their passion – something happens around their eyes and mouth or I pick up something, I don’t know what it is, in their voice if we’re on the phone……………listen out for it in yourself.