I was speaking with a client this morning and we both started laughing about what reality meant. She was telling me about a Fawlty Towers type scenario at a restaurant at the weekend. Everything that could possibly go wrong did go wrong. There were a number of them around the table each having a completely different experience of the evening. My client thought it was funny, she saw the humour in it all, enjoyed being out with her friends and knew not the get caught up in her thinking about how the evening ‘should’ have turned out. Her friends reacted quite differently many of them seeing it as a terrible evening, everything was wrong – the delay in getting their table, the wrong orders brought to the table, the fact that the kitchen had run out of things on the menu…you know the way it goes. Yes, and of course these things could become irritating if we allow them to become so.
Something similar happened to me last week when we were out celebrating my parents 55th wedding anniversary. We’d booked an early table, the restaurant was already full, we ordered and received our starters promptly. We then waited over 45 minutes for our main courses. No one came over to apologise. We were beginning to get a little cross especially as my mother has dementia, so waiting can be a bit hit or miss sometimes! However, we all appreciated that we were enjoying a lovely time together, we were sat overlooking the bay, my mum was calm and relaxed and when our food did come it was excellent. The manager then came over, apologised and took the wine off the bill which was a lovely gesture.
So, two examples of choosing a different reality. Two examples of doing and seeing something different. The more time I hang out in the unknown the easier life becomes. Having to be ‘right’ all the time I am finding crazy making. Seeing that is possible to have a thousand different thoughts and experiences is making my life easier and easier.
Now, I’m curious what reading this is bringing to the surface for you? What areas in your life are you fixed on seeing reality in one way when it might be helpful to see it another way?
- Are you in a fight with someone, seeing your reality as THE reality?
- Are you determined to solve a problem one way and dismissing a hundred possible other ways?
- What are you missing by only looking in one direction?
- What if you could hang out in the unknown for a while? What might you see differently?
I’d love to hear back from you, do share what you’re seeing.