Rituals vs Routine

Photo : visualpanic

Routine plays a a large part in most of our lives I’m guessing. It certainly does in mine and my children’s lives. I get up at the same time most mornings (apart from holidays), dig my youngest son out of bed to the usual moaning of ‘MUM! 5 more minutes’ to which I pull up his blind a few inches to remind him that it is in fact morning. I come downstairs, open the back door to let the dog out, put the kettle on for my morning cup of tea, turn the radio on to get my fix of Chris Evans (Radio 2), get the cereal out, prepare something for my son’s school lunch, pour the tea, shout to him to get into the shower………………..and so it goes on in every house in every town in every country in some shape or form.

If we are not careful we end up living our lives on autopilot and suddenly it’s the weekend again or Monday morning again and we wonder just what the hell happened to the week or the weekend. Or worse still we look in the mirror and wonder who is that person staring back at us? What happened to all those years? ………..Familiar?

So, I’ve been thinking, now that I’ve come out from under that dark cloud I’ve realised that what might have helped me and of course has helped me in the past is to have placed more emphasis on ritual in my life.

So what’s the difference between routine and ritual? For me it’s about mindfulness and purpose if you want me to go all Zen on you! Put another way it’s about our attitude toward our routine a lot of the time. So let’s take that morning cup of tea……………I usually fill the kettle, hurriedly grab a tea bag, drop it into the teapot, pop to the loo whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, slosh the water into the teapot, stab the bag with a teaspoon to ensure I’m not drinking tasteless hot water with essence of tea, pour quickly into my mug, dash with it upstairs and into the shower before anybody else steals my time slot in the bathroom………………..Are you worn out just reading that?

Now, by way of example, think of the ritual involved in Japanese tea ceremonies (dip into Memoirs of a Geisha if you’ve forgotten). Think of the care, the attention and the love that goes into the whole ritual. Aren’t you instantly calmer?!

Every time we make a ritual out of an activity we bring it into the present moment. We get to give our 100{f2259cb46dcb1430efd101bad4e704c2e9271840799215b7836ec2b429f8b5c6} focus to what we are doing. A number of years back during a Religious Studies lesson, my son had an introduction into meditation by his Buddhist teacher. The boys were each given a square of Green and Black’s Maya Gold chocolate, told to place it on their tongue and do nothing apart from be aware of whatever they noticed.  He came home that day with a deep respect for chocolate! Something I have never managed!

Stop for a moment and think what we could make a ritual in our life and as a result deepen our respect for something we either take utterly for granted or to which we give not a moment’s thought. What if we could be more mindful of our daily routines? Would we feel less pressured, less stressed?

I read a quote today in an article by the coach Michael Neill, he said ‘Life isn’t a journey, life just is’. I really liked that. We’re forever chasing the goals, moving forward in life, wanting more and better all the time, it’s certainly what the media wants us to strive for. It turns the heat down for me somehow and that’s exactly what I crave right now.

What are the routines you could make into rituals? Walking the dog? Exercise class? Preparing your lunch? Coffee with friends? Meditation or prayer? Spending time with the children? Getting ready for bed?

Tonight I’m going to start my gratitude journal again. It’s a little notebook I keep by the side of my bed and in it I jot down 10 things I am grateful for this day. Today mine might include seeing my son walk across the stage to receive his degree, the wag of my dog’s tail when we returned home, the flash of driver’s lights as I let him pass, that my journey to Nottingham and back was safe and uneventful, the first taste of the glass of wine……….! We can become mindful of all these small things in our daily routine.

Sign up for my 7 Top Tips for Midlife: Inspiring The Second Half of Your Life

You will also receive my popular Monday Morning Food for Thought emails and be the first to know of workshops and online programmes I’m creating. 

SUBSCRIBE