New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. ~Mark Twain
Ok, so here we are, 2 weeks into the New Year and I don’t want to be the party pooper (much) but do tell me………….How are you doing? Make any resolutions? Still going with them are you? Be honest, how long did you last? What was it this year? Gym membership? Dieting? One coffee a day? Alcohol limited to the weekend? Not to bitch about people?…………..Now I’m not trying to rain on your parade here as I believe the intention behind all resolutions is a good one, they are however to my mind a big con designed to make us feel crap about ourselves…………yet again. What does the voice in your head tell you? Loser, failed again, typical, just like you………..blah blah blah.
I’ve been there, done that so many times in younger days and you know what…………I gave up making punitive resolutions a long time ago.
Ask yourselves in all seriousness why you are making resolutions. Ask yourself really what you want from writing your list of resolutions.
How can we successfully get fit if we see it as a punishment? How can we give up alcohol during the week if we see it as a denial rather than a positive choice? How can we lose weight when it just makes us miserable?
How does any of this benefit us? How does being mean and punishing ourselves make us feel better?
If you want to lose weight decide to do so. If you want to give up drinking during the week, do so. But do it in such a way that you are highly motivated to do so, ie you look forward to the end result. Ask yourself why you’re wanting to lose weight. What will you get out of losing weight? Fit into that red dress? Why do you want to do that? Keep asking the questions until you get to the real reason for wanting to lose weight or get fit………….you’ll find it’s got something to do with how you feel about yourself.
My aim is to cut back on alcohol……….I’m no alcoholic to put the record straight just someone who loves that first taste of a glass of wine when I’m back from work or had a crazy hectic day. It relaxes me…………..actually that’s the problem, it relaxes me just a little too much. I get nothing done in the evening after a glass or two and I’m not talking about the ironing, filing, cleaning kind of doing, I fall asleep on the sofa and see nothing of the evening, (even CSI can’t keep me awake).
I love the hit of the first mouthful of wine yet I’ve decided that I want my evening more. This is my reason for putting the kettle on rather than pulling out the cork (or unscrewing the cap!). I’ll get my evening back, more hours in the day and even better I’ll get a good night’s sleep. Now that is what motivates me……………..and you know what if one evening during the week I ‘fail’ I’m definitely not going to beat myself up, I’m going to enjoy the wine and start again the next day!
How can you take a look at your resolutions and turn them into something you really want? Look at why you want to lose weight, decide exactly what it is you want to get out of joining the gym (if it’s for the hot gym instructors be honest with yourself!) If you’re struggling to do this on your own get a life coach for a few months, there are plenty of us out here to act as your guide and cheerleader willing you to succeed in your resolutions.
So how about trying something completely different and resolving this year to lighten up, be nice to and about yourself, add a good helping of fun and laughter and thank heavens that you’re alive and have a life to live and enjoy?
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. — Winston Churchill
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Hej Rebecca – great post and totally agree with you. I’m working on not setting too many goals, if any this year. I need to stop blaming myself when I haven’t achieved everything I want or others seem to be doing better than me. I need to be better at learning from the challenges and moving on instead of taking them too much to heart. This year I’m going to test out living more according to my values and a set of 10 or 12 principles. Being nice to myself is certainly going to be on that list. And totally get where you’re coming from on the alcohol front – sends me to sleep too!
Hi Jacqui, I’m glad we’re together on this subject! I’m all for lightening up on myself this year, I do believe as a result I’ll make more progress because I’ll be feeling better.
On the nose as always with the New Years resolutions. So using your premise of making them a good thing, an encouragement rather than a punishment – I have decided that I am giving up coffee – only instant rubbish that I don’t enjoy – precisely because I don’t enjoy it and then I can really enjoy the one cup of great coffee that I have each morning. The no bitching and gossiping is good too because it was making me feel uncomfortable and bad about myself and others. The gym speaks for itself – its like the filing that always needs doing – keep it on the list and eventually there are no more excuses and you go – because it makes you feel better …. but its like salads, you enjoy them when you eat them and keep eating them but somehow fresh bread with loads of butter and dolcelatte torte always seems so much more tempting. And the alcohol, well anyone would think you live in my house !! So cutting that out too except once in a while and always with friends. And so a Happy New Year begins – keep up the posting.
Thank you Jacq! Well we do know each other so well after all these years and have the same alcohol tendencies! Glad we can still enjoy our prosecco together when we meet! Rx
I found a simple solution to this particular conundrum……I didn’t make any vows to myself! Best not to set oneself up for failure, I find! By setting achievable goals we motivate ourselves. Not always easy because we come through Christmas feeling disgusted with ourselves and aim high in order to feel better, only to fall off our own pedestal! Not a pretty sight!
Well done, Rebecca, you set just the right tone in your piece. All power to your elbow in whatever you achieve.
Absolutely Dee, being knocked off one’s own pedestal is not to be encouraged! Thank you for your kind words my friend. Rx
Love it, love it and love it even more! For the first time ever I think, I’ve actually gone for a New Years resolution type thing………………….I’m very proudly going to walk the MoonWalk on the 12th of May 2012 in memory lifes beauty, i.e. of my wonderful grandmother who was “mad” until she reached the age of about 75 years and then lived a fantastic life for the remaning 10 years until she gracefully checked out, to my great father who made a hell of a good life for himself and most people around him and he made it until the age of 85 years, my late husband who’s life mantra was “he how dies with the most toys wins” and he made a massive impact on hundreds of people including myself and my two beautiful sons before he needed to check out at the age of 46, my wonderful, admirable and beautiful friend who fought breast cancer and made it and to my admirable godmother who was able to smile, laugh and give of herself through all the misery in the last 10 years of her life until the day she gracefully checked out. Oh my world, do I miss these people but actually, I just love to have had them in my life and be able to do something in their memory. Well, wish me luck in doing what’s right for me and thank you Rebecca for ever and ever for being such an amazing and wonderful friend – just never do anything more than being you, cause you’re a beauty in your own right! Lx
Dear Lottie, thank you so much for this beautiful and heartfelt comment. I’m thrilled that you’re doing the Moonwalk in memory of all those wonderful people you describe and I wish you luck and love in doing so.
I promise this year to be me, actually you know now I’m not sure I could be anyone else!! This is me my dear friend!
Rx