This morning I received Decree Absolute. The dissolution of my marriage is final and absolute.
How do I feel?
Full of emotion.
I feel overwhelming relief and at the same time I feel overwhelming sadness.
I feel the need to grieve. Grief is vital to growth and healing. I need to feel the full force of the emotion in order to heal fully. To ignore and put aside is what poisons.
I feel the need to read the poems of Mary Oliver who wrote so eloquently in Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
The soft animal of my body craves rest right now. Peace.
My friends remind me to do this. Those who have been on this journey before me. Those who have been with me every step of the way.
My feelings are mixed. Divorcing someone you once loved is not easy. Divorce is a deeply unpleasant process.
So although this is the final ending of a marriage, a relationship, a complete family, a couple, it is also the beginning of the rest of my life. And I will choose to live a great life for myself and for my children.
But for now, quiet time and rest is what I need.
Tomorrow is another day.
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although we’ve never met, I’m sending you hugs x
Alison (we’ll have to try and put the “never having met” right one day!)
Thank you Alison and yes indeed we must sort out the ‘never having met’!! x
Much strength and gentleness to you today!
Thank you!
My Dear Rebecca –
Been there, done that, got the Decree Absolute certificate. It’s like the Nisi only NICER…..but normal to feel a kind of loss (like a death). One chapter closes – another opens……. best remedy – open a bottle of decent Champagne 😉
Thank you Peter, I really do appreciate your words x
As they say (who ever “they” are) – that was yesterday – turn around and look to tomorrow X HUGS
Bless you Sarah. Thank you. Today the sun is shining too 🙂 x
i too am awaiting my absolute and know exactly how you feel, mine is also a journey of sadness and i hope to god i will feel better when this is over it does feel like grief but no one died my thoughts are with you be strong
wendy x
Thank you. Have courage Wendy. There is always blue sky behind the clouds 🙂
Hello Rebecca
Your post touched my heart this morning and reminded me how important it is to honour our bodies and feelings. I hold a space for you and your family including the husband and father of your children in my heart as you all go through this transitional phase.
With love and blessings
Heather x
Thank you Heather. I am blessed to have the love and support of so many good people. X