A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. ~Emily Dickinson
Today is Mothers Day in the UK. A day when we celebrate and show our gratitude and love for all that our mothers have done and if we’re fortunate continue to do for us. I hope that all mothers are loved and cherished today whatever the physical distance between you and your children.
I did not understand unconditional love until I gave birth to my first child. It is a love you cannot explain. It is a love that knows no bounds. It is a love that grew with each child I bore. I would truly give my life for my children, and I guess that never ends whether your children are infants or adults. I admit that I only really began to appreciate my mother once I had children of my own. Up until then we’d had our ups and plenty of downs and I saw her as someone who was there to put an end to my exploration and freedom! Her staying awake to hear my key in the lock was a huge irritation. Her wanting to know where I was going and who I was with (in the days before mobile phones) was not her business (in my teenage head). Her verbal disapproval of my choice of boyfriends made me even more likely to choose them whether I liked them or not.
Children need boundaries and it is often the mother who takes the direct hit when these boundaries are being attacked. We must stay firm in our values for this is what gives our children confidence to find themselves. Some of my values are quite different to those of my mother. Yet I now appreciate that she always did what she felt was right. As children we do need something or someone to fight against in order for us to find out who we are.
My goal as a mother has been to give my children roots and wings. To know what and where home is, to know that there will always be a bed for them, food for them, a listening ear whatever the time of day and a hug waiting for them. At the same time I wish to give them wings to fly the nest and become their own people knowing all the time that my love goes with them. And who knows as one returns a graduate from University in the summer there may well be a time when they need to be pushed out of the nest all together!
I know that whatever our differences in opinion on how to live life, my mother will love and support me in all my decisions. She may not agree with the way I choose to live my life but she will always love me. And as she begins to age and sadly loses confidence in the woman she once was, I too will love her as patiently as I can.
No one in the world can take the place of your mother. She may scold you for little things, but never for the big ones. ~Harry S. Truman