A friend once told me in looking for love there are 4 things to ask yourself.
Are you physically attracted?
Are you best friends and playmates?
Do you have similar values and outlook on life?
Is this right for right now?
It got me thinking about my past relationships and why they either never lasted or why they came to an end.
For me these questions need to be asked of your true self, give yourself time to really ask these questions. Wait for the true answer and not the answer you want to hear. Ask these questions deeply if you want a real relationship. Ask these questions and answer them honestly, a superficial answer will be of no benefit to you.
He may be your best friend, the person you want to speak to about all the ups and downs in your life, the last person you speak to at the end of the day. He may be the person you can be yourself with, the person you laugh the most with, the person who really gets your sense of humour. He may be the person who loves big country walks or quirky cinema just like you. You may have been drawn together because of your outlook on life, your values and the things that are important to you. This might also be perfect timing for you both, your baggage from past relationships has been dealt with and you’re both ready for a meaningful relationship. However, if you are not physically attracted to him, if there is no chemistry, if you don’t think he’s the sexiest thing on the planet and you’d rather he kept his clothes on then be honest with yourself about what you want from this ‘relationship’. Is he your friend? Is he your lover? Is he your partner? Is he your soul mate? Be completely honest from the start.
Don’t compromise what you want in life just because
a) it’s been ages since I’ve been in a relationship
b) he’s not George Clooney but hey he ticks all the other boxes
c) there’s a load of baggage from his previous relationship but I’m sure we can sort that out along the way
d) I hate that all he wants to do is watch football but he’s pretty good in bed;
e) I don’t like his politics and he says that he hates children but he makes me laugh like no one else.