I’m learning a lot in this new single life of mine. Having been off the market, so to speak, for over 20 years I’m finding the ups and downs, pros and cons of the single life a novelty and have begun to formulate my own ideas on why some people are never short of a date/partner and others are desperately seeking and never finding one.
I bumped into an old friend in the park a while ago, a woman just a little older than me, a widow with grown up children. She looked amazing! Happy, relaxed, confident and vibrant. We chatted for a while on life, love, sex and being single. Her words to me were that in her experience there were more men out there than you could shake a stick at! You just needed to be in the right place emotionally. Her words rang in my ears and got me thinking. Why was it that she had more men wanting to take her out on dates than there were days in the week and why was it that many of my single friends were living some self inflicted monastic existence? What was she and others like her doing that was different?
In brief (rest to follow in a workshop I think!) my advice for what it’s worth………Stop looking! Yep, stop it! I will of course add to this by saying stop looking, stop trying and start allowing. Once you let go of the outcome, really, really let go of the outcome that is, the need for a partner/date/husband whatever it might be you open up the floodgates and will find yourself spoiled for choice. Don’t believe me? Well that’s my personal experience!
I’ve talked to lots of friends, male and female about ‘dating’ and one of the conclusions I’m drawing is that desperation (because that’s what it is) you can smell a mile off. Ask yourself, would I want to hang out with me right now? This will always be about what you are attracting or not into your life.
Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself some tough questions. What are you looking for? Really looking for? Admit it to yourself. Are you going out on a first date wondering if this is the one? Is this the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with? Is this the father to my children? Is this the man I’m going to grow old with?
What happened to having fun? What would it be like if you just decided that what you were going to look for fun – nothing more? Isn’t it about time you decided you were happy with who you are without a partner before you start looking for one…. Or should I say attracting one into your life?
More to follow………