And then there are some days when only James Morrison’s Wonderful World will do
Heartbreak is a shocking and at times terrifying experience. It might be the ending of a long marriage or a short love affair. Whether you saw it coming or not, the pain is visceral. However it turns up in your life it is immobilising and has the potential to paralyse you for its duration.
Unfortunately, and I say this as no one in their right mind chooses to feel pain, but heartbreak has to be felt, it has to be lived through in order for your heart to heal. There are NO shortcuts, the longer the pain is avoided with drugs, alcohol, meaningless sexual encounters, over or under consumption of food, working out too long and hard at the gym or even staying later and later at the office, the longer your shattered heart will take to heal. Numbing yourself with these potentially destructive behaviours keeps your emotions unexpressed and leads to greater damage in the long run.
Find a way to welcome the pain as part of being human – a feeling being. Crying, wailing, screaming, allowing your body to be racked with sobbing is sometimes just what is needed. Collapse and allow the wildness of your emotions to be released. Do it alone or with someone you really trust who can allow you this space and freedom.
Sometimes finding a poem or piece of prose can be profoundly cathartic and supportive. I love the work of Mary Oliver, she wrote in her poem Wild Geese,
“You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on.”
Be patient, don’t judge your feelings and your emotions, they are what make you unique. Time heals everything. One day the sun will come out, briefly at first, and then you will make the decision to move forward, pick yourself up and dust yourself down…….
Until that day comes, invest in some good sunglasses and eye cream!
And if you’ve ever had a broken heart then the beautiful Adele sings it so hauntingly and soulfully.