I’m almost divorced, just waiting for the paperwork to be finalised. The affidavit has been witnessed and signed and Decree Nisi is imminent. The arrangements have been made for the children and a financial settlement has been agreed……….I am emotionally drained and exhausted and I feel it’s time to admit it. We achieved this through mediation and although an incredibly painful process we did it and have remained civil throughout. I held the needs of the children as my highest goal asking myself at every point ‘What’s best for the children in all this?’ ‘Can I be proud of my behaviour?’
Who knows how I will feel once the final divorce papers land on the doormat? I’m sure many emotions – the end of an era, sadness, relief, joy at the start of a new life – I will prepare for all and expect none.
So moving on…….for me this has to be taken gently and slowly and at a pace I can cope with. Yes, there feels an urgency to spring clean the house, redecorate and to make it mine, yet this stage needs to be done carefully, thoughtfully and gently. There have been so many changes to our private world and some changes are fine made rapidly others need to be done gracefully.
Redecoration will be done in time, rooms changed around and all the while I’ll burn essential oils and candles and have fresh flowers to create a revitalising and supportive environment for me and for the children.