One of the classic moments in the 1989 film When Harry Met Sally is when Harry Burns turns to Sally Albright as they are driving to New York and says,
“You realise of course that we could never be friends. What I’m saying is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way”.
Sally exclaims that this is not true, that she does indeed have a number of male friends and there is no sex involved. Harry informs her that they ALL want to have sex with her. She is horrified and asks how he knows this for fact. He replies,
“Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. Even if she doesn’t want to have sex with him it doesn’t matter as the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story”.
Wouldn’t this make a great GCSE question! This quote followed by the word DISCUSS! And how interesting to answer at different stages throughout your adult life!
So what are your views?
I’m curious about this one. Does it also work the other way around? Can a woman be just friends with a man? Or is there always that frisson of flirtation that makes it a very different relationship to one that she might have with her female friends? Does having a GBF (Gay Best Friend) solve the problem of having a male friend to whom you are not attracted? Are there some men with whom you can have an almost brother like relationship? Or as in the film When Harry met Sally once they had had sex things could never return to how there were…. remember the looks on both Harry and Sally’s faces once the deed had been done?!